I don’t know what’s worse; getting cranky all the time or pleasing people everytime even if it irritates me so much.
Sleepless nights always gives me time to contemplate memories and random stuff. I should be sleeping right now but I don’t know. What is wrong with me. Lols.
Late nights are sentimental nights. It’s where you can be able to peacefully think. What am I thinking right now? To be honest, I thought of a lot of things tonight; so many that I couldn’t even focus on one right now. Hehehe. Maybe that’s what you get when having a scattered brain like moi.
Do you think I should change? Change what? Hmmmm. I don’t know, my looks? my lifestyle? my fashion style maybe? Or my personality perhaps? Sometimes, in the judgemental world we live in, when you’re all great and amazing, life and society came rushing down to beat the shit out of you. You can’t even differentiate real from fake anymore. Truth and lies are already the same. Why does it always have to be so complicated? Complicated in a sense that everything is topsy turvy and things are slowly beginning to change and as time goes on, you already can’t even recognize it anymore. The things you’re used to before are not there anymore.
Why does change have to be the only constant thing in this unfair world? Change for the better, or change for the worst. Blah blah blah. It’s still change.
I’ve been born with tons of imperfections.
I’m never the girl whom everybody loves. I’m not the prettiest or the sexiest chick on the block. I don’t get thousands of compliments from other people.
And so, i was filled with insecurities about myself. I can’t help it. Although I always admire other people for their abilities and physical appearances, deep inside me, I feel so down about myself.
I try to cheer myself up and make the most of what I can do. But sometimes, I hate it when people keeps unleashing my inner doubts, especially when those people are the ones whom I love the most.